Fake Boobs Read online

  Fake Boobs

  Fake Boobs

  Ryan Ringbloom

  Copyright © 2015 Ryan Ringbloom

  All rights reserved. No parts of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without the prior written permission of the author, with the exception of short quotes for purposes of review.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Cover Design: Tugboat Design

  Interior Formatting: Tugboat Design

  Edits: Hot Tree Editing

  To

  Jennifer Weiser,

  Mia Rivers,

  Lisa Wilson,

  & Rachael Bailey.

  I ❤ you guys!

  Prologue:

  Grant

  “Look around the bar, Grant. Give us an idea of what your type is. We’ll help hook you up with the perfect girl.” My sister’s friend, Gabby, tossed a pretzel into her mouth, and chewed while talking.

  I scanned a few of the girls seated closest to us. Fair skin, red hair, casually sipping a beer and chatting with her friends. She was pretty, but not for me. Moving along. Dark hair, exotic, confident, drinking a Martini. Her eyes connected with mine and she rolled them uninterestedly. Not a problem, the feeling was mutual. Next. Ponytail and glasses picking at the label on her bottle of beer. Cute, but once again, I wasn’t interested.

  “Doesn’t look like you see anyone,” Gabby said, exchanging glances with my sister, Julie.

  I gave another glance around the room at the pretty faces surrounding us, but still no one held my attention. All of the girls were attractive. Just none of them seemed to do it for me.

  Not like her.

  The dull ache forming in my chest stopped me from going down that road again.

  Crowds and drinking were never my scene. I was eager to leave even though we hadn’t been there very long. No matter what part of Jersey you were in, the bars were always mobbed. I’d almost forgotten how crowded it could get; it’d been so long since I was home. Not that Jersey was my home anymore. We paid the tab and the three stools we vacated were immediately snatched up in the packed bar.

  As we made our way through the hoard of people, my eyes fell on a girl with the most unnatural looking blonde hair I’d ever seen. Platinum locks so light her hair actually bordered on white and eyes an odd shade of blue that just didn’t look right. Even in the poor lighting of the bar, I could see her make-up was piled on thick. Her jeans were tight and her blouse was low cut. The heels on her boots were high and her boobs were…ginormous. Way too large for her small frame. She stood in a circle of laughing girls, but there was something familiar about the sweet sound of her laugh that stood out.

  After passing the group of girls, I turned my head to catch one last glimpse of the busty blonde before being tugged from the bar into the fresh night air.

  What was it about that girl? Did I know her? What was on her wrist?

  “No. Way!” Julie and Gabby both stated dramatically in unison.

  “No way what?” I asked, turning to face them.

  “There is no way in hell we would ever let you go for a girl like that.” Julie laughed, patting me on the back.

  “Like what?” I questioned, lifting my brow.

  Gabby shook her head giggling and Julie answered for both of them.

  “A desperate girl with big, fake boobs.”

  Chapter One

  Tori

  “Melody’s shorts riding up the back of her ass had me up half the night with a raging hard-on.” Wade lowered his hand and motioned how he resolved the ‘issue’, getting a laugh from the guys in the room.

  “What size do you think her tits are?” Kyle asked, rubbing his hands together.

  This question got the guys riled up. Sizes were shouted out, everything from a “full C cup” to Wade insisting they were “double D’s”, squeezing imaginary breasts in front of him.

  “You know who has fucked-up nipples?” Jason shook his head in disgust and the guys leaned in closer to find out who.

  “Dude, shut up.” Grant tipped his head in my direction.

  That’s right. I was sitting right on the couch in the same room with these guys, while they discussed tits and nipples, not even realizing I was there. Well, except for Grant, but that was only because he was stuck sitting next to me.

  Everyone piped down, disappointed they’d have to wait to find out the answer to who the fucked-up nipple girl was. My arms crossed over my nonexistent chest and I cringed knowing these were the type of things guys said behind girls’ backs. Boobs were a really big deal to guys, which was part of the reason I wasn’t.

  My brother, Jim, returned from walking his girlfriend Jeanie to her car. The room had become awkwardly quiet for a room full of guys and he looked right at me, knowing I was the reason why. “Get out,” he barked.

  Being allowed to hang out in the same room with my brother and his friends was still kind of new. And it was only because Jeanie was over and Jim didn’t want her being the only girl. Since she was gone, I had to go too.

  No one bothered saying goodbye to me like they all did when Jeanie left. Grant gave me a half smile, but that was about it. Out of all my brother’s friends, Grant had always been the nice one. Kyle was the cutest, but Grant was definitely the nicest.

  Upstairs in my room, I did the standard online check-in and skimmed through everyone’s pics. Only because they were just talking about her, I looked for a picture of my friend Melody and found myself wondering the same thing the guys were. What size were her boobs? After much deliberation, I decided I agreed with Jason that they were a full C cup.

  I’d kill for a C cup. I know all girls have complaints about their bodies. Every girl always struggles with something they wish they could change, the most common complaint usually wishing to lose ten pounds. That was why every time I went to add my two cents with my own complaints, I always got shut right up. “Tori-What do you have to complain about? You don’t have an ounce of fat on you.” Apparently being thin discredited everything else. Yes, I didn’t have an ounce of fat on me, not on my chest, not my ass…not anywhere. But no one ever saw it like that. To my mom, and the few friends I had, I was thin, therefore, I was lucky.

  I wasn’t lucky at all. The thing was, my body was thin, my hair was thin and lately, my patience was running thin. Two months ago, I graduated high school a virgin. Okay, not that big of a deal. Girls should hold out as long as they can. But I’m talking a virgin on every level. No third base, no second base, no first base. A total loser. No first base! No one had ever wanted to kiss me.

  “Except you.” I picked up the stuffed bear on my bed and French kissed it.

  I made out with my bear. Oh god, poor bear.

  My parents were away for the week. With their two children all grown up, they started taking advantage this summer more than ever, vacationing on their own. Not that I was sure they really saw me as an adult, but I was eighteen and my brother was twenty-two. I guessed they figured between the two of us, we could handle things on our own.

  The voices of the guys partying downstairs grew louder. They were only drinking beers when I went upstairs, but I knew Kyle brought a bottle of something much stronger with him. It sounded like they’d moved on to the hard stuff. I was curious and wished I could go back down and listen in.

  A commercial for cat food blared on my television. Yes, cat food. We had a cat. It was a great reason to go back downstairs so I could spy on the guys, maybe even learn the secret identity of fucked-up nipple girl. I snuck into the kitchen, filled Whiskers’ bowl and opened the fridge to mindlessly search for some
thing to snack on.

  “Man, I’m so horny.” Kyle’s voice traveled into the kitchen. “Why are there no girls at this fucking party?”

  “Cause most of us have girlfriends now and we said it was gonna be a guys’ night before we all go back to school.”

  “I don’t have no girlfriend,” Kyle slurred.

  “There’s a reason for that, bro.”

  All the guys laughed. I even covered my mouth and let out a quiet laugh. Kyle was hot, but his personality was not nearly as attractive. This had become a well-known fact with girls. The rumors were his luck lately was starting to run out from his bad track record.

  Jim passed through the kitchen talking into his phone and headed upstairs for privacy. Less than an hour away from Jeanie and they were already on the phone. I love you more. No, I love you more. The two of them made me sick. They were the most annoying people on Earth.

  “Hey, if you’re horny there is technically a girl at this party.” Jason lowered his voice so my brother wouldn’t hear. None of them knew I was in the kitchen and could hear them just fine.

  “You mean Tori?” Kyle chuckled.

  “Yeah, would you ever do her?”

  I held my breath and didn’t make a move.

  “Don’t answer that.” Grant interrupted before Kyle had a chance to say anything. “The answer is no. Leave her alone. That’s Jim’s little sister.”

  “Don’t listen to Grant. Answer the question. Would you fuck Tori or not?”

  Jim’s feet stomping down the stairs stopped the conversation that had me on the tips of my toes desperate to know the outcome.

  Jim stopped in the kitchen and grabbed an armload of beers from the fridge. “Tori, the guys are all pretty hammered. They’re gonna crash here. I just wanted to give you a heads up.” He walked into the back room returning to his friends.

  The conversation about me had ended. The guys started busting Jim’s balls about being whipped, so I relaxed. Kyle most likely would have answered no and followed it with some crude remark that hurt my feelings. This way at least I could pretend Kyle’s answer might have been yes. I smiled. Experiencing my first time with a hot older guy would certainly have been memorable. I could have gone off to college with a little knowhow and a fun night to look back on.

  I grabbed a water from the fridge and went back up to my room fantasizing about the ‘what if’ of a sexual encounter with Kyle. It wasn’t until I passed the mirror and saw the reflection of my boyish figure and lifeless brown hair that reality set back in. I arched my back to stick out my chest. That did nothing. Dream world was fun for about two minutes.

  In bed, I flicked on the television to watch re-runs of The Big Bang Theory. About an hour later, I drifted off wondering if Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz’s boobs were real.

  Chapter Two

  The knock on my bedroom door was soft at first but it quickly turned louder. I blinked my eyes open to see the clock on my night table read 3:06am. I sat up discombobulated, and before getting a chance to walk over and see who was knocking, the door opened a crack. Leaning over, I flicked my lamp on and saw Kyle standing in my doorway.

  “Hey, you,” he said, opening the door wider. “I was wondering if you were still awake. Can I come in?”

  “Yeah,” I replied, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. “You can come in.”

  He stumbled in a zigzag line over to my bed and collapsed down next to me. The stench of alcohol wafted from his full lips. Once his head landed on the pillow, his blue eyes lazily shut. “Where did you go tonight? Why didn’t you stay and hang out with us?”

  “I don’t know,” I said confused. This was really weird. Beyond weird. “You were having a guy night. Besides, I never hang out with you guys.”

  “That sucks. You should be hanging out with us all the time.”

  Kyle stretched, still sprawled out on top of my comforter. I sat up with my legs crossed and nervously picked at my nails. “Besides, I know you guys don’t want to be hanging out with Jim’s little sister.”

  “You’re eighteen now, right? Ain’t nothing little about that.”

  His voice oozed sex, coming out in a slow drawl from the alcohol. My knee bounced and he reached over to steady it. His hand on my leg made my breaths harder to take in.

  “I guess.” That was all I said, yet my voice still came out nervous and shaky.

  “I think you’re pretty, Tori.”

  Oh, I got it now. This was a dream. I pinched my skin and it hurt. Did that mean I was awake?

  “No you don’t,” I shot back.

  If it wasn’t a dream, then it was a joke. They were probably filming it for YouTube or something. Making a film about the ugly girl who thought she had a chance with the hot guy, hoping it would go viral and they’d all get their two minutes of fame at my expense.

  “If I didn’t think you were hot, would I have this right now?” Kyle pulled my hand down to the front of his jeans and I didn’t exactly know, but I guessed the lump my hand was pressed against was a boner. “That’s ‘cause of you,” he said, grinning.

  He had a boner because of me? Oh, my God. Did this mean…

  “You want to see it?” he asked, unbuttoning the top button of his jeans.

  See it? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t know what to say. Was this how it normally went? Wasn’t there kissing and other things before someone just whipped their dick out? You know what — who cares? Even if it wasn’t normal, I’d take it. Something was better than nothing.

  “Yeah.” I nodded and swallowed.

  He unzipped, lifted his hips and then there it was. I was looking at it. He was looking at it. And I knew I was supposed to do something, but I just had no clue what.

  He looked at me and laughed. He knew I was clueless. “You ever had a Popsicle?” he asked. “Tell me your favorite flavor?”

  I liked Bomb pops, but I knew that would sound stupid if I said it. “Cherry,” I said instead.

  He ran a hand through his hair and gave me a lazy grin. “Well, look at that, it’s your lucky day. I’ve been told my dick tastes just like a cherry Popsicle. Why don’t you give it a little lick and tell me if that’s true.”

  Lick it? I always thought it was more like sucking. You don’t really lick Popsicles; you stick them in your mouth and suck on them. But he just said the word lick? If I did this wrong, I’d be humiliated.

  “Go ahead.”

  Oh, crap. I just needed to do it and get it over with. I positioned myself on my knees down by his waist. Closing my eyes, I leaned forward, slid my tongue across the top part of the soft skin and sat right back up. Definitely not cherry.

  “What the hell was that?” Kyle laughed and tossed his head back on the pillow. “I guess I should have known a girl like you has never done anything like this before.”

  My face flushed. I should have turned the stupid light off so he couldn’t see me. A girl like me? What did that mean? Ugly? Pathetic? I got up from the bed and walked over to my dresser. “I’ve done stuff like this plenty of times.” I grabbed a rubber band and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. “I just need to pull my hair back first.”

  “All right, I like that. That’s smart thinking,” he grinned.

  I pulled the rubber band out picking up the brush and ran it through my hair, stalling for time. I wanted to do it. I was excited to do it. It was way past time that I did it. This just wasn’t how I pictured it would be. Slowly, I scooped my hair back up and replaced the rubber band ready to walk back over. It would be humiliating but I was going to need to ask him for more specific instructions.

  Another knock sounded at my door and then it opened. I froze. If it was Jim, we were both dead. Kyle was mid-zip as Grant stepped in. I let out my breath thankful beyond words it wasn’t my brother, but at the same time mortified being busted by one of his friends, especially, Grant.

  “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” Grant addressed Kyle, ignoring me completely. “You better get your fucking dick back in your pants and get the h
ell out of here before I go wake up Jim and you got a shit load of trouble on your hands.”

  “We were just talking.” Kyle looked over to me to back him up on his lie.

  “Just talking,” I repeated like a trained parrot.

  Kyle strolled out of my room first like nothing wrong had, or was about to, happen.

  Grant lingered a few seconds longer. The look he flashed in my direction before he closed the door made me lower my eyes to the ground. My skin burned so badly I thought it might start peeling off.

  Good God, that was awkward.

  Outside the door, I could hear the loud whispers as the two of them argued. It was tough to make out what they were saying at first, but I pressed my ear against the door and concentrated.

  “Are you crazy, Kyle? What the hell were you doing in there?”

  “We were just talking.”

  “Bullshit, you were just talking. What were you going to do tomorrow when you woke up? Once you sobered up and realized the huge mistake you made?”

  Mistake?

  “I would have just pretended like it never happened and prayed Jim never found out.”

  “And what about her?”

  “Tori? I don’t know. Who gives a shit about her?”

  “Exactly. That’s why you better thank God I came in and got you the hell out of there before things went too far.”

  The voices drifted off as they went down the stairs. I clicked the lock on my door assuring there would be no more visitors. Not that there would be. Dragging my feet across the floor, I slunk back into bed.

  “Who gives a shit about her?” The exact words that followed my first ever sexual experience. Well, almost. And almost didn’t count. I was right back where I started. Nowhere.

  Geez. As bad as it ended, I wished it had actually gone farther. Because even though Kyle admitted he didn’t give a shit about me, for those ten minutes he spent in my room, it actually felt like someone did.